i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
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