Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
