the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
