been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize