so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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