I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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