So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I cut my penus on the lid.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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