You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
