So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
