I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
