..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I need to sanitize my soul.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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