well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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