I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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