So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
