thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
