Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
