is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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