You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
