cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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