even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
