who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
