So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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