Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
