oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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