ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
