Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
