Your mouth is God's brothel.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
