everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
