R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
