He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
