Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
