I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Randomize
