I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
