Just cropdusted the office
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Randomize
