We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
