yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
