I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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