omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
please come you make the beer taste better
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
