Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
how does that bad decision feel?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
