omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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