I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
