I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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