you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize