I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
We have started to decorate penises.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
