ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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