Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize