please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
did i walk over a car last night?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Randomize
