we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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