I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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