just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
