so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
