just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I am naked and annoyed.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
