This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize