phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
