Where did you get a picture of my penis
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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