if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
