You were right. It hurts to walk today.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize