Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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