Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
