Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
