I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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