Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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