this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
love makes seman taste better
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
