O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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