She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
