your thong is hanging out like whoa
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
